Friday, August 27, 2010

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly or What I Learned on My Trip

I just got back from a ten-day trip to Illinois, land of my youth. It began with a battle between my plane and a herd of thunderclouds. Fortunately, my plane won. Along the way—despite time zone differences and the temptation of home-baked pies—I managed to learn a few things, things I probably should have known long ago.

Here goes:

1. Family is a good thing. I may have written a book (Afterlife: The Resurrection Chronicles) where the future paints a bleak picture for families, but in reality I treasure mine. They’re wonderful and I wouldn’t trade them for a warehouse full of clones.

2. Cicadas can drive you nuts. They may seem romantic, when you live a thousand miles away, but in reality they’re irritating as hell. You can hear them whirring and humming and buzzing in the trees, even when you’re inside the car with the windows rolled up and the music turned on.

3. Be prepared. At any point in time, a 45-minute flight can turn into a 3-hour flight. In the future, I vow to carry snacks, Dramamine, Xanax and the Book of Psalms with me on every plane. Yea, though I fly through the valley overshadowed by thunderstorms…

4. Hot, humid weather feels great. For about two days. Then it feels a little bit like hell. Then it feels a lot like hell. Then it makes hell seem like a vacation.

5. When stressed, brownies function almost exactly like Xanax. Take note, however, that this method of therapy requires a month of hard exercise to work off the added weight.

6. My house is never as nice as the house I’m visiting. I vow to accept that fact and move on. I will not lust after big back yards, garages, plush carpets, multiple bedrooms, basements, spacious kitchens or walk-in pantries. I. Will. Not. Lust.

7. When flying, real books trump iPads, iPods, laptops, Kindles, eReaders, Nooks and cell phones. All those cool techno gadgets have to be put away during take-off and landing, which can add up to almost an hour of flight time. I purchased a copy of Michael Connelly’s 9 Dragons for my 2 return flights.

8. I need to find a better kennel. Dogs should not smell like urine. Ever. My car should not smell like urine, either. Dogs should be given all their meds, on time. Left-over meds (including those that weren’t administered and were quite expensive) should be returned when dogs leave the kennel. Grrrr.

9. I don’t really like traveling. Wait. I already knew this one. Okay, let’s say that traveling isn’t all that bad, but coming home rocks. Big time.

10. My house is a mess. I left in a flurry of 1,001 last-minute details, so I didn’t have time for my traditional “clean the house before you leave” ritual. In retrospect, I truly understand the beauty of my obsessive traditions.


  1. Wow, thunderclouds come in herds? I did not know that, thank you! It's good that you're still learning. Better late than never, right? =)

  2. LOL....this sounds a lot like me! I don't like traveling and I too, try not to lust over other people's things. *sigh* (not like a bigger house or anything)

  3. Ah yes, brownies! They're good for the soul! Which has to be better than for the body, right?

    And I agree about the better use of paperbooks rather than the electronic kind. Plus they can fit into purses nice and easy AND they don't require a charger!

  4. your list is a lot like mine when I travel . Sounds like you need to sit down and visit with your invisible friends for a while. Disappear into their world for a while and kick some butt.

    as to the humidity, I've lived with it my whole life (NC) and you *never get use to it. Fall can not get here soon enough. Good luck finding a better kennel.

  5. I hate cleaning too thats why they don't call me Cinderella. lol
    I'm following now. I found your blog on Supernatural Underground post.

  6. I'd be yelling at the kennel if they forgot needed meds. However, sometimes, urine happens even if they are good. I'd still find another place tho. O_o

  7. Great post. I just can't leave my pups in a kennel. If we travel, we get a housesitter. This way they are at home and happy.

    I am also a terrible cleaner. I just want to have magical powers just for the bonus of never having to clean.

    I agree humid & hot is only nice if it is the first day after a long yucky winter. After that, all bets are off.

    checked out the post at supernatural underground.

  8. Totally agree with number 7! However I think real books are always better!

  9. Hi!!! Stopping over from the Supernatural Underground--Sounds like a fun trip!!! And everything except the dog part sounds very familiar--I totally sympathize!!!

  10. Ah the good ol mid-west. Gotta love to humidity. Spend a week in MN this summer, and then just about died when I got back to the desert of AZ. Glad you had a great trip!!

  11. Thanks, everyone, for stopping by and posting a comment! I love all your comments. Plus it's way fun to have visitors!

  12. I agree about the Cicadas, brownies and hot/humid weather xD I live in Florida and deal with all three all the time.